At first we thought screw it, let's just do one-size-fits-no-one, it's easy and fabric stretches anyway. But then we decided to do some actual work and lay out the sizing info below, it was hard but that's how much we love you. Sure, that's why.
Go to your closet, or floor or wherever and find your favorite T, or hoody, or type of garment your looking for. Lay it flat and measure it. Check the dimensions against our size chart below and order the size that's the closest match (ignore the size label, they lie). The dimensions of our garments are taken after they've been washed a few times so they might be a little bigger when new.
There's a bit of variance in garment sizes because cotton can shrink more or less than expected, it's kind of an asshole that way. If it ends up a bit off, just gain or lose some weight, we hear it's pretty easy. If it's really just all fucked up, let us know, and send photos, we love a good laugh. Seriously let us know, we want you to love your bfofo.
TLDR Lay out and measure your best fitting garment of the style you're looking for. Select the size from our specs below that's the best match, that's your size.